Two days ago, I hopped on the phone with my good friend Abby. We run The Self-Love Summer Challenge together each year, where we support women for 13 weeks (the whole summer), in a group setting, to create their best summer yet – free from dieting, rules, restrictions, and full of positivity, gratitude, feeling good, and being present (you can join the waitlist here for 2017).
Anyway, our phone call was so empowering. We talked to each other about where we’re at in our personal lives, in business, and in health, and simply encouraged each other. The call was so centered around giving each other permission to want what we want. Me: permission to desire health, working hard, and being super present in my life and with the people I love.
And it inspired me to write this post today to tell all of YOU, that you have permission to want whatever it is that you want.
So often I hear women apologizing for what they want. I hosted a call for a friend of mine recently to a group of her “students” (she’s a business coach) and one of the girls said “I just want to feel/be healthier. I know maybe I shouldn’t want that, and I should just accept where my body is, but I do.”
My response to her what it is ABSOLUTELY okay for you to *want* to feel/be healthier. Why do we feel we have to apologize for our desires? It’s OKAY to want what you want.
I talk about this in Authentically You, too – letting go of rules and should’s and giving yourself permission to live as your TRUE self – all your wants and desires and feelings included.
I want to ask you: What is it that you want? In your job? relationships? finances? health?
For example, here are a few things that I want:
- to work hard and to feel successful
- to feel healthy everyday in my body
- to be present and spend time with the people I love
- to have fun
- to not feel overwhelmed by my calendar, but excited for what I have planned
- to feel great about my finances
The part where WE want to check-in with ourselves (and where I always make an effort to check-in) is making sure we want all the parts that come with our “WANTS”. For example:
- If I want “to work hard and to feel successful” then I have to be willing to do the hard work – to love all parts about my business. The parts that give me butterflies and the parts that truly challenge me to grow and stretch me outside of my comfort zone.
- If I want “to feel healthy everyday in my body” then I have to be willing to slow down enough so that I’m able to listen to my body and respond with foods, movements, and activities that allow me to feel good/healthy.
- If I want “to be present and spend time with the people I love” then I have to be willing to slow down and create lots of distraction free time in my days (aka, not scrolling through Instagram when I’m hanging with my hubby). I have to be really intentional to listen.
- If I want “to have fun” then I have to be willing to put in the effort to plan fun things or say YES to them when they come up.
- If I want “to not feel overwhelmed by my calendar, but excited for what I have planned” then I have to be willing to say NO to the things that feel overwhelming, and resist the temptation to overbook myself. I also have to incorporate things that feel exciting – or, make my normal day to day things more exciting.
- If I want “to feel great about my finances” then I have to be willing to be responsible for them, do my budget each month, and commit to the things that make me feel great (giving, budgeting, saving, and spending on experiences > things).
You’re ALLOWED to want what you want, whatever it is (and hopefully this goes without saying… but the “BUT” is: unless it’s harmful to yourself or someone else).
To reflect on why you don’t already have what you want (if you don’t already have it), can also be really helpful! Then you can see what’s getting in the way, slowing you down, or stopping you from already having what you want. This is where coaching is very helpful, too.
So, here’s your permission to want what you want and to encourage you to look at the whole picture.
Here are some reflection questions to support you:
- What is it that you want?
- What are all of the parts of what you want that you’ll need to accept (and maybe even embrace)?
- What are the WAYS you’ll move toward what you want?
- What other support do you need, if any?
I hope this posts gives you permission to want what you want today, without shame or judgement. If you want to share with me, please do so in the comments! If you have questions, feel free to ask. We’re in this together!
Before you go, make sure you’re on my email list to receive tomorrow’s VIP Q+A email where I’ll be answering this readers question: “Will I eat the world and get fat if I trust myself with food?” I personally LOVE this weeks email! Wondering if you’ll gain weight from trusting yourself (versus a diet) with food is a HUGE reason many women hold onto dieting. Diets FEEL safe to us. So, we’re addressing this tomorrow so that we can clear the clutter and make space for MORE women to listen to their body’s and ditch dieting for good! Wahoo!