Does It Hurt? Or Does It Burn? (Wisdom From My Husband)

Paige Schmidt | Healthy Hits the Spot | Does It Hurt? Or Does It Burn? (Wisdom From My Husband)

The other day I was at the gym with Marco doing a new workout he made for me. He looked at me as I was doing bicep curls, scrunching my face, and showing all of my teeth. “This huuuuuurts” I said.

The next thing he said was way more impactful to me than he ever meant it to be (haha)…

“Does it hurt? Or does it burn?”

“It just burns,” I said as I continued to my workout… 

Then I got to thinking… Wait… if it burns, it’s good. It’s building muscle, making my body stronger. It’s not comfortable, and I can’t wait until it’s done. But it’s good… it’s producing good results in my body. It’s making my future self stronger. I have to go through the burn.

Then BAM.

I thought to myself… “Holy crap. Isn’t this like so many other things in my life?”

There are so many challenges and discomforts that we have to go through to grow and become better. So many ways that we have to step out of our comfort zone and “feel the burn” before we can experience the amazing results of taking risks.

A few nights ago I was having so many back and forth thoughts. The kind you have when you’re doing something new and risky and you’re freaking out, just a little bit (okay, a lot). Haha, you know what I’m talking about?

Well, I got to reading that evening, just books around my house, and my mindset started to shift. I dug out my ol’ “GIRLBOSS” book that I’d put back on the shelf after reading half of it (I do that more than I’d like to). I was so inspired as I was reading it.

In the book, Sophia features women who have basically killed it in business, and the common themes for ALL of them were: keeping their passions on fire, working really hard, and taking SO many risks.

They talked like the system goes: take one risk, get through it, feel better, take another. Like, basically, challenge yourself all of the time.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I like my comfort zone just fine!

But do I? Do I really? Does it REALLY allow me to get what I want out of my one and precious life? Sometimes, sure…! Sometimes I want to hang out in my comfort zone with my husband, at home, watching movies.

Other times I want to push myself to adventure with him, to learn how to ride a mountain bike, to have him teach me something new, to be afraid and to get through it. (Just a small example.)

I DON’T want to live in my comfort zone everyday.

For example, when I stopped counting calories, that WAS WAY OUTSIDE my comfort zone. But, I did it, and my life IS SO MUCH BETTER because of it.

Questions for you…

  • Where do you want to expand your life?
  • What will that require of you?
  • How does that make you feel?
  • How will you have to step outside your comfort zone?
  • What do you need to know to feel safe enough to just go for it?
  • How can you keep your eyes on the OTHER SIDE (the result).

I know for sure that when we’re taking risks, we have to know that we’ll be there for ourselves and love ourselves just the same IF we fail. And even better if we have external support too. (This is also where spirituality, whatever that looks like for you, comes in.)

And actually… *there’s no such thing as failure, ONLY FEEDBACK.* I tell this to my clients when we’re talking about food and experimenting with different ways of challenging ourselves and trying new things, so let’s use that here too.

There’s no such thing as failure, only feedback. 

Worst case scenario, you learn something that leads you in the RIGHT direction.

Best case scenario, whatever it is you just worked through works out and you’ll be thanking yourself for the rest of your life that you DID IT. You worked through the hard stuff. You felt the burn, and you didn’t mistake it for pain.

Girl, I am so “preaching to the choir” with this post. I think taking risks is terrifying. I go through the whole emotional rollercoaster every time. But you know what I can say? It is always worth it. And that’s what I have got to remind myself of too, every single time.

I’ll leave you with this Brene Brown quote…

“If we want to be able to move through the difficult disappointments, the hurt feelings, and the heartbreaks that are inevitable in a fully lived life, we can’t equate defeat with being unworthy of love, belonging and joy. If we do, we’ll never show up and try again.”

SO, basically, Brene is saying take the risk. Know that no matter what, you’re loved. You belong. You’ve got your people, your support, and you’re there for yourself, too. You can have joy even through hard times, so don’t be afraid. Show up. Try again. It may all work out after all!

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Love, Paige
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  • Ah, Jessica, so cool that this spoke to you! I love this… I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and it’s been helpful to think about! I’ve never moved out of state (since California is so huge you can move super far without being out of state). I’ve only moved two hours north of my home town. And while that was super scary because we didn’t know anyone, it’s been THE GREATEST blessing ever. I have faith for you guys that if this is what God is calling you to, it will be incredible. Getting outside of our comfort zone is ALWAYS uncomfortable, right? You’ve already made an incredible first step by even considering this move with your husband, and I can hear from your comment that you’re doing all you can to sweep up the courage to make it happen. I hope it all goes well for you guys – and that you can continue to remember the difference between the “burn” and actual “hurt”. XO Thanks for sharing with me! Oh, and you said you wanted to be a social media manager – that’s awesome! Do you have any online accounts to share? Insta accounts that you manage, or that are yours personally?

  • What a strong and encouraging post, Paige. Absolutely loved, loved, loved reading it. I honestly feel like these past four months have completely pushed me out of my comfort zone in every way possible. Losing my boyfriend – that certainly pushed me a million miles outside my comfort zone, moving to London pushed me outside my comfort zone as well, taking on an English internship when my mother tongue is Danish – again out of my comfort zone, taking trips around the UK alone, traveling alone, and now starting at HCI this summer…. And I could keep this list going for a long time. Some of the things I decided to do on my own and some of the things, well, life just threw me right into without warning or kindly asking me if that was what I wanted (I just have to trust God/the Universe knows what it’s doing and everything is excatly how it’s supposed to be).
    All of these things have and some still are feeling so terrifying. Like I literally sometimes want to hide in my bed and just stay there for the rest of my life. But these things are also teaching me so many things about myself and about life. They are making me stronger, they are making me realize who I am, who I am not, what my values are, what I want in life… I don’t belive staying outside your comfort zone all the time in every aspect of your life is healthy but you definitely need to push yourself and sometimes to really scary things (in a good way scary not in a go-do-stupid-things kind of scary) in order to grow and get the most out of the precious life we have been given.

    https://findingloveandhappinessblog.wordpress.com/

    • Thank you so much for sharing Heidi! Yes, I certainly agree that you have been pushed far outside your comfort zone! It’s crazy to think about how much has changed even just since we were doing the first round of Authentically You! You’re a STRONG woman. This is how I know you’ll do great at coaching, too!

  • Something someone said to me recently (well, through a youtube vid haha!) was that you have to work hard for the life you want. I am really working on stepping out of my comfort zone to push myself to be the best possible version of myself I can be for my son, my husband (and of course, myself!) and that totally involves doing things that “burn” a little. I’m working on a mommy/wife/personal life/work life balance and it is HARD but it’s also really rewarding. Lately, I’ve been taking on some freelance work and a lot of the time I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing but I’d rather live life taking risks and doing exciting things than being complacent…and then whining that I’m bored 😉 Great post and a good reminder to keep on pushing!

    • Hi Heather! Thank you so much for the comment. I totally agree with that – that you have to work hard for the life that you want. Otherwise, it’s totally easy for us to become complacent. Right? I think it’s awesome you’re challenging yourself and working on these things. It’s not the easy route, but then again… maybe it is because the alternative wouldn’t land us where we want in the first place? XO Thanks again for the comment 🙂

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