I have a tendency to blog when I am happy, because that’s what makes me happy.
I have a hard enough time talking about hard things, that I have an even harder time blogging about them.
When I talk about hard things, I talk to the people closest to me.
When I blog, I am blogging to thousands of people across the world, and I don’t get to have personal relationships with you all.
I realize, that because I have a habit of only blogging when I’m happy, my life may seem a bit perfect online, and that is just not the truth.
I learned at a young age (started at 13) that feeling happy and having things feel “perfect” was my sheild. My sense of “I’ve got it together, and I can take care of this myself. No matter what’s going on around me, I will not break.”
What I am here to say to you all today, is that everything in my life is not all happy and perfect.
My life, my faith, my family, my job, my personal relationships, my love, my eating, my body, etc… everything is not perfect.
I apologize to you all that I tend to not blog when things get rough and rocky.
Here’s how it goes in my head:
“I don’t want to blog today, because I don’t have anything happy to share. I don’t know how to post hurt, or disagreements, or family struggles, or relationship struggles, or eating issues. I want to be the encourager. How can I be the encourager if I’m not sharing happy, positive, encouraging, good, things?”
What I am learning though, is that life is not perfect. And the people that have their $#!+ together, are the ones who are standing in it. The ones who are walking through their hard times. Fighting the battles when they come, and not escaping them. What I am learning, is to face the battles, and to walk through them. I am learning this with the encouragement that pain doesn’t last forever, and happiness doesn’t last forever – both pain and happiness are feelings. Change is constant.
Things are hard right now in my life. They just are. And I am walking through the hard things, facing the battles, and moving through the motions. I am including the things in my life that are important to me: quiet time, Church, women’s groups, meeting with friends, doing things for others, resting, reading, loving my family, fiance, and friends, praying, and still trying to be good at what I do.
The truth is, I’m not entirely sure what to share with the outside world through my blog, because some things really are just personal. But, my first step is sharing that life is not perfect for me. I face the struggles. My family goes through things. My relationship isn’t all butterflies, it takes work. I know that even through the hard times, God is with me – therefore I am never alone. This sermon spoke wonders to me last Sunday. If you’ve been following Daisy Love online, this is her Dad, Britt Merrick talking about their journey with their 8 year old daughter who has been battling Cancer for over 3 years now.
Do you guys ever go through this? Do you sometimes focus all on the good, in order to not feel (or face) the bad? How do you become more comfortable with having hard things in your life?